THIS IS SO TOUGH!! 0 lbs lost 65 pounds to go. Again. Really.

So, this post is going to seem very negative, but hang in there with me because I do have something positive to say as well.

First, this is SO tough.  I've lost significant weight twice in my life---at the end of college I lost about 60ish lbs (regained through 4 pregnancies) and then I lost 60ish pounds again after I had Aubri (regained through three back surgeries and grad school).  Both of those times, while it took a lot of sweat and discipline, it didn't seem as frustrating as it does now.  I don't know if it's because I have so many physical limits compared to then because of my fusion or if it's because I'm getting "older", or what, but it's frustrating.  

After much conversation with my husband though I've come to the conclusion that I need to just keep going. As frustrating as it is, I simply can't give up.  I am going to make a few different modifications this time to see how it goes.  

Both times I've lost significant weight I've "kick started" my first 20 lbs by using Slim Fast twice a day and then phased into portion-control/calorie-control meals to lose the remaining 40.  I'm going to give that a shot again.  I'm not enthused about this idea---I love food, and lately I've enjoyed cooking---but I think if I could (hopefully) experience some success at the beginning perhaps it'll work out.  

I'm still going to "front load" my calories (breakfast as the biggest meal)----overall I really do like that, I just need to be more disciplined overall.  

I wish that I could report out some awesome success, but I can't.  It's not for a lack of trying---but perhaps it's for a lack of not trying hard enough.  I think I need to get more mentally tough about exercise.  I did do my zumba workout today and loved it.  But working out 1 time a week isn't going isn't going to get me in shape.  

So!  I do have a new challenge for myself---the # of consecutive days that I workout--either at home or at the Y.  I have an all or nothing personality which isn't going to change over night so I'm going to use it to my advantage and see what I can do.  So even if the scale doesn't change, I have another challenge I can be successful with.

Finally--the weirdest thing of all, especially since I haven't been consistent with exercise....

I've noticed some of my clothes (shirts in particular) fitting better so I couldn't understand why no change on the scale, so I measured myself and compared it to measurements I took back at the beginning of October.  I have lost 1/2 inch in my arms and a few inches in my waist--none in my hips (The proportion doesn't surprise me because my body loves to be pear shaped).  So--a word of encouragement to anybody who is working on this as well---be sure to measure yourself from time to time because I don't think the scale # always tells the most accurate story.  

I like to browse through the Pinterest boards for fitness motivation, and I ran across this image--I like it because it's what I struggle with most right now:

Image from Pinterest