20 pounds down!! :-)

Weight loss is a curious journey.  Or perhaps confusing, curious, frustrating, and exciting all wrapped in one strange and conflicted emotion.  We tell ourselves messages all of the time---and sometimes these messages conflict with each other and muddy up your intentions, some of these messages might include:

• I'm losing weight and I feel great! vs. I'm losing weight but I'm still not where I want to be.
• My clothes are fitting!!  vs.  Not all of my clothes fit yet.
• I'm tracking my calories, finding healthy recipes, and exercising vs.  I'm obsessed with losing weight. 

For the most part I can remain positive, hopeful, even excited about my progress...but there tends to be a sneaky whisper telling me that I'm still not good enough, pretty enough, healthy enough, smart enough....I am my own worst enemy (insert music from Pink here in the background).  

But the scale hasn't been fibbing, I have been working hard.  I'm 20 pounds down and that's really pretty darn awesome.  I'm well on my way now to meeting my goal and it feels like it's "doable".  

These confusing messages though....those need to be figured out and resolved.  Those messages could probably spiral me back into some unhealthy habits if I don't consider them with caution and really figure out the root.  Do I not value myself enough?  Is there something about my self-worth that is damaged?  

John 10:10 says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy but I have come so they may have life, and have it to the full."  I think here I am my own thief.  The way that I view my body, no matter the size, is not what was intended for me.  I will continue to lose weight because I do need to be healthy---but I need to keep my focus on health and not on this idea that weight loss itself will make me a more worthy individual.  I can live life to its fullness now---I don't need to wait for the permission of my scale or my "skinny" jeans.  I think it's time to lean into God's love and begin to see me as He does.

20 lbs down!