End of Week 2......
I'm not at home so I can't weigh myself (there is a scale here at my parent's house, but the nerd in me wants to weigh myself every week, at the same time, wearing the same thing, using the same scale).
However, it's easy to tell that I've gained weight this week---I just didn't implement the plans that I said I would. And by that I mean I pretty much did the opposite of what I meant to do.
To throw fuel on the fire I tried on some clothes in Kohl's the day after Christmas. Seeing myself at all angles....destroyed me. I felt so horrible about myself which sort of spiraled me into really hating what I've done to make my body this way. Which made my eating worse (I know that doesn't seem to make any logical sense).
But then I started to think about the times that I have done best with healthy choices---those are the times that I felt good about myself---not bad. I've never successfully guilted myself into eating right. But I have successfully viewed myself as strong and smart---and viewing myself with those characteristics have motivated me to keep truckin'. In sum, if I'm going to successfully work on myself, I need to actually like myself.
If I'm going to be successful moving forward I may need to block out those images of myself in the dressing room and start defining myself by every victory and positive characteristic. For instance---choosing and orange over a cookie. I'm a person who makes healthy choice. Or if I work out at the Y---I have a body that is able to move and sweat. These types of intentional affirmations may be incredibly important in order for me to have a successful start in all of this.
In the words of the beloved '90s SNL character Stewart Smally, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog-gone-it, people like me."
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